Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Coolest Free Zombie Game

 Hello everybody, and every-corpse, I hope your limbs are limber today...

  Well to the matter at hand, I have been searching for cool Zombie games to play "FREE" on the web, and I've come up with some horrible choices, the names get mixed up but they were all either too complicated and/or were all text based with minimal graphics...  then I came across this seemingly innocent game "Zombie Lane" and whoa, finally my search has ended, this game is very addictive, fun and since it's not completely gruesome I can even play it with my kids, in fact, my 3 year old is always asking to "kill dombiez"

  This Facebook game is pretty simple to follow, you have to kill zombies and in the meantime do various missions to spruce up what's left of your neighborhood, you can visit and help friends along the way, one of the coolest features is that you can craft makeshift weapons from the different items dropped by zombies you kill.

  I urge you to play it if you're a Zombie fan, and if you do try and find me... I'll be the guy in the yellow shirt kicking zombie but first and asking questions later!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Libya Offers Cease Fire - But Will Zombies Listen?

  Libya is now being watched by the world, civil unrest so they say...  but we know better right..

Qaddafi has been in power for about 40 years and he doesn't go away, his followers fear no bullets and harm and go around in mobs... or would they better be described as A HORDE?  and frankly it looks like he has been decaying for some time, have you seen him lately?

Anyways the forces of freedom are trying to see if he has any WMDs when they should be looking for ZMDs (Zombies of Mass Destruction) I mean those are the really dangerous ones, cause they multiply sending their message of endless consumption and destruction, think about a mall full of rich kids...  yeah it's that scary!!!

  Another thing that ties this scenario in the middle east with most Zombie movies is the fact that the president of the United States understands nothing of the problem, and is unclear on what to do, in fact the only thing he is doing effectively is showing the world that he is just as Zombified as the rest of us.

But don't just wait for the problem to come here, like our fearful leader, prepare for the coming attacks, get the Zombie Survival Guide today!!!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Can Iodized Salt prevent Nuclear Japanese Zombies?

A lot is being said about the tragic Earthquake/Tsunami situation is the Japanese are facing, and now the dangerous levels of radiation emanating from the Fukushima Dai-ichi nuclear reactor power plant leak.

Now people everywhere are stocking up on Iodized Salt and Potassium Iodide anti-radiation pills, even here in the United States West Coast, but are they really effective? or even necessary? the answer is probably not, in fact there is very little danger of radioactive poisoning to the rest of the world, it is my strong belief that the people that are buying up large supplies of these pills are merely doing it as a get rich quick scam, hoarding them to later sell to people in Japan (who may really and desperately need them) at a much larger price, in fact it is more of a possibility that the Radiation would turn the victims in Japan into Zombies than harm people on the American West Coast. 

So what should we really watch out for in the days to come, if you smell a cover-up it is probably because 1, a contaminated lizard has reacher a size that is equal to that of a large building (it's been known to happen in Japan) and the obvious and very sensible possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse, so what do we do? how do we prepare?

Well the second thing you should do is put into action any "Zombie Apocalypse Prevention and/or Protection Plan" that you have (an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure)

But first and foremost it to stop the outbreak at the source, if possible, before it reaches a point of no return... in other words send copious amounts of money to global giving dot com, the link is right bellow this paragraph...   I mean think about it if there is a Zombie Apocalypse your money won't be any good to you anyway, and until now you've only worried about fighting the ordinary run-of-the-mill walking corpses, can you imagine fighting Samurai Zombies?

(I don't mean to break the mysticism of the whole Zombie idea, but I want to make clear that this is actually an Earthquake/Tsunami relief fund) sorry...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Review: 28 Days Later (2002)

This movie is truly a masterpiece, one of the best if not THE best zombie movies of all times.

First: it shows you exactly how the first victim is infected, and how the whole problem was created, I know this is something that is not really necessary for a good Zombie movie, but it does give it a sense of realism. On a note unrelated to the genre it also illustrates how some of those HUMANE yet at the same time TERRORIST organizations around the world operate, and how sometimes they make a huge mistake in the name of humanity (for example sticking metal rods into trees so someone breaks a chainsaw and kills himself while trying to cut it down)

Second: the soundtrack, I am a visual person, and I usually don't pay attention to an/or don't remember if the soundtrack of a movie was good or not, but this one is great, it creates an atmosphere of despair yet it does it with almost lively music, without being the typical ominous tones that are characteristic of horror movies.

Third: Great acting, the main character can really convey the sense of despair at being the last person alive (until he meets others of course) all others deliver truly believable performances.

Fourth: And this is what I have the most trouble with in most Zombie movies, the survivors have seen THE WHOLE POPULATION GO, they understand if that you are infected you must DIE!!!
There's no "You look pale and like you're in horrible pain, just like the million people before you who turned into Zombies, are you sure you're OK?"...  "oh yeah hhmmmphhh, I'm fine hhmmmpph it's nothing"

Fifth: It shows humanity's true nature...   when you are in constant danger and all you have is each other then everyone is your family, but as soon as you get back some sense of security you go back to being greedy and think of how you can put yourself over others.

This is a movie I could watch again and again, it's simply that good.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Radiation in Japan: Is is turning people into Zombies?

  Is the radiation in Japan turning people all around the world into Zombies, or just complete idiots?

There are already people on the internet claiming that the whole earthquake/tsunami scenario afflicting the people of Japan was caused by the return of the space shuttle or by one of it's nefarious top secret mission... (or add your favorite conspiracy theory here) it is this blogger's professional opinion that all those people should get a life or at least a brain.

Do you know how many people were killed by the initial earthquake?    One.
Do you know why?    Because Japan is the most prepared country in the world when it comes to quakes.
Do you know why?    Because they know that they are in an area where they have one of the highest probabilities for earthquakes.

Now to tackle the idea about the tsunami, did you know that the term kamikaze popularized by the suicide bombers of WWII actually means Divine Wind? an is from an earlier period in Japan's history in which they were about to be invaded but a "Divine Wind" came and created waves so large that they completely destroyed the invaders fleet of ships, maybe that was caused by the NASA time traveling space shuttle that has not been invented yet... or has it?

Well there is something in in Japan that is turning people into Zombies, and it's "Black Mount Fuji" and you can learn all about it in the film "Tokyo Zombie", which by the way you can buy from this very blog...

Thank you for reading, and if you still believe that NASA was responsible for this mess, you don't need to consume more brains, just make sure yours doesn't get completely consumed...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Review: Deadgirl (2008)

Heather EDF... I'm sorry, I know this one of your faves, but I'm going to have to hate...

I can see where they wanted to go with this movie... unfortunately they didn't have a GPS to get them there, it has the pacing of a crippled snail, the emotions of an angry frustrated teenager and half the dialogue is "I don't know man".  I felt my brain shrinking with every word...

Most of the scenes make absolutely no sense, two seventeen year olds that are almost afraid of playing hookie, then one becomes a rapist, kidnapper and murderer full of existentialist questioning?  one scene one of the kids has a revolver, but when later in the movie he needs a weapon the best thing he can find is a machete? the most unpopular kid in school has everybody come up to him trying to give him advice? they walk and ride bikes, but when they need to kidnap someone they somehow own a car? they go in and out 20 times of the mental hospital, but when they need to run away they hit a locked door? and what the f. is up with the dog? it appears all the time, they are always afraid of it, and they never take care of it?

This could have been a good movie, bu it's impossible to watch.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Review: Zombie Strippers (2008)

Hello friends, how's it going? hit any good clubs lately? well let me recommend a place where the girls are to die for.  

Jenna Jameson is ahhhh-some!!! the gore is fantastic, this movie is very inventive when it comes to the offing of Zombies, the acting is pretty good (for a skin flick) and well, you have Freddy Krueger... I mean Robert Englund in it.

I was really skeptical about this film, but it actually surprised me, it has a lot of political humor, and a heavy dose of stereotyping, but it's all in good fun,  definitely worth watching.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Friday, March 11, 2011

Review: Aaah! Zombies!! (2007)

Awww, don't they make a lovely couple?

   Now I swear I thought of my catch phrase "Zombies were people too" before I ever saw this movie or even the poster, but I digress, let's get to the actual part you're here to read... the review.

   What do you get when you mix soft-serve ice-cream, draft beer and a "top secret" green substance developed by the armed forces? a hilariously funny movie

  By mixing black and white scenes with colored ones the movie shows you two different perspectives on the situation. The colored scenes show the stars speaking normally and completely unaware that they are in fact Zombies, and the rest of the world seems to be talking gibberish an for some reason attacks them, when they start loosing skin or body parts they start trying to explain it away...  The black and white scenes show them as they really are; grotesque rotting walking corpses.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Review: Carriers (2009)

Hello friends, thanks again for reading, hope you're all still free of infection... and if you do get infected let it be with the "I can't stop reading this blog" bug.

  The first thing I want to tell you about this movie is that it is not the gore fest most Zombie fans expect, what I can tell you is that it is almost completely character driven, and the acting is excellent, if you liked how Chris Pine played James T. Kirk in J.J. Abrams' update of Star Trek, then you'll love this movie. It is full of suspense and difficult moral questions, which is what I love about good Undead movies.

   Basically the movie follows 2 brothers and 2 girls on a cross country trip to get to an old abandoned vacation spot that they plan to stay at while they wait for a world ravaging infection to somehow come to an end. The disease itself is not explained at length, except the fact that it can be transmitted even by breath alone, so even if you're not scratched or bitten you could still become infected.

  After watching this one you might want to take a shower...

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Review: Tokyo Zombie (Japan 2005)

  Just when you thought yo had seen all you would see when it comes to Zombies, the Japanese come and show you a thing or two.

  Fujio is a slacker who works in a fire extinguisher factory and spends his time training with his co-worker "The Bald Jujitsu Master" one day they accidentally kill their supervisor, they go and bury him in "Black Fuji" a huge pile of trash and usual depository of the unwanted dead... that is until the dead start coming back.

  The two embark on a journey full of danger and chances to prove that Jujitsu is the greatest martial art in the world, this movie is one of the funniest I've seen, the story spans different stages of the Zombie apocalypse, something seldom seen in a movie.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Review: Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009)

  What do a gay couple, an Iranian American and an anti gun school teacher have in common? they're all in this movie, and by the tittle you might have guessed this is heavy with political satire, and it's quite hilarious too.

  Frida an Iranian American who just wants to be treated like a normal American, Tom is a guy that returns from New York with his boyfriend and plans to come out to his mother over desert, hilarity ensues as the little island town of Port Gamble has it's very own Zombie outbreak.
  Many people instead of trying to figure out how to stop it, start looking for people to blame, saying that it is a terrorist attack by Islamic extremists or God's punishment...

  The funniest part  "Dad!!!, mom got bit by a Zombie... haven't you ever seen a Zombie movie" Dad: "Brian... you know I'm a Vampire man"

  You should definitely watch this one, very funny.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Review: Zombieland (2009)

It's time to nut up or shut up, and it's also time for another great review by yours trully...

This movie is fantastic, it is a comedy, but not satirical as "Shawn o t D" or "Last o t L", it finally has people that within their own limitations have learned to survive in Zombieland, this movie gives us "THE RULES" when it comes to defending against Zombies, my personal favorites: The Double Tap... and DON'T BE A HERO!!!

The gore and inventiveness of the kills become greater and greater as they compete for Zombie kill of the week, and you have to see the guest appearance, I don't want to give it away...   BM, there's one hint, you guess!!!

I loved this movie, this is one of those you can watch again and again.

To see a list of all the films I've reviewed click here